And Then There Will be Cake

Being an adult blows

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:58:34 -0500

I got my monthly bill today, and my stomach sank a bit.

This past month I bought two pairs of running shoes (I alternate them so they last a full year) for a little less than $200, and that’s even when they’re on sale. Anyway, I get paid every two weeks, and when my next check comes in I’ll basically only have $300 left that I didn’t spend for the month — and I’ve even been cutting my costs.

Guess I’m going to have to put a lock on my wallet or something, because I’m pretty pissed about my lack of wealth accumulation at the moment.

FUCK. ME.

Wed, 22 May 2013 23:44:51 -0500

egryan:

1. Reactivate OKCupid account for, like, a fucking second.

2. Click on first match.

3. It’s your ex fiancee.

If I did online dating, this kind of shit would totally happen to me.

Photo

Tue, 21 May 2013 07:27:12 -0500

Gym thoughts, part one

Mon, 20 May 2013 19:25:22 -0500

I think hip abductor machines only exist to trick people into making sexual-looking motions.

Welp, it's official

Mon, 20 May 2013 07:10:00 -0500

Yahoo is buying Tumblr. They’re promising not to screw it up, but c’mon — it’s Yahoo.

Fact: Any album cover with a random attractive butt on it...

Sun, 19 May 2013 20:16:00 -0500

Fact: Any album cover with a random attractive butt on it signifies greatness.

So apparently Chester Bennington of Linkin Park is now the new...

Sun, 19 May 2013 14:56:46 -0500

So apparently Chester Bennington of Linkin Park is now the new lead singer of Stone Temple Pilots. How on earth were they able to keep that a secret?

I hate when friends and co-workers ask why I’m not dating anyone. I’m not dating anyone...

Sun, 19 May 2013 13:00:00 -0500

I hate when friends and co-workers ask why I’m not dating anyone. I’m not dating anyone because I don’t want to date anyone, so stop asking.

They always try and pester me into asking someone on a date when I have absolutely nothing in common with that person. What’s the point? Plus I just don’t have any time. I never get home from work and working out until about 8 or 9 p.m. each day.

If I found someone I wanted to date, I’d date her. Geez, just stop it. Saying I think a girl is cute doesn’t mean I’m interested in her.

Star Trek Into Dumbness

Sat, 18 May 2013 22:43:07 -0500

Star Trek Into Dumbness:

The new Star Trek movie isn’t a terrible film. Star Trek Into Darkness has some bravura action scenes, and some brilliant comic bits. But it’s also aggressively, tragically stupid. It’s not even a great popcorn film, because it fails to deliver on its own promises. And it’s not half as good as J.J. Abrams’ first Star Trek.

Sorry, but Star Trek fans getting butthurt over having a good movie that isn’t exactly what they wanted amuses me greatly.

Watch TiMER Online | Netflix

Sat, 18 May 2013 21:19:38 -0500

Watch TiMER Online | Netflix:

I’ve always seen “TiMER” in the Watch Instantly section of Netflix, but it always seemed silly to me.

Well, I just started watching and it’s actually a fascinating premise — you can get an implant that will tell you when you’ll meet your “soul mate.” Again, it sounds kind of weird, but it’s handled so well. Here’s hoping the rest of the movie is as interesting as the first 20 minutes…

I'm a turrible person

Sat, 18 May 2013 20:56:00 -0500

I have a co-worker whose brother is the football coach and athletic director at an area high school. They’re in the same classification as the high school I attended, so they routinely see my alma matter in the playoffs.

In November they met in the football playoffs, and my high school crushed her brother’s team. I gave her the weekend to sulk, then when we had work on Monday I wore my track shirt from high school and a giant foam finger I had with the school’s logo on it (before you ask: I don’t know how or why I have one).

Well the baseball playoffs have been going on, and they met again there. Her brother’s school ended up winning the series and she started sending a ton of texts, tweets, Facebook posts and all that trying to rub it in.

She posted one picture on my Facebook of a kid from my alma matter looking really disappointed and said, “Oh no, he looks sad :(“

Naturally, I responded with, “I agree, he does. Probably the same look your brother had in November.”

Because I’m an asshole and I know it will piss her off. She didn’t post or send any more messages after that.

(For reference, I’m seven years out of high school and she’s a little more.)

bricksandmortarandchewinggum: Why would anyone donate money to Gawker to allow them to purchase a...

Sat, 18 May 2013 15:11:09 -0500

bricksandmortarandchewinggum:

Why would anyone donate money to Gawker to allow them to purchase a 200k video of the mayor of Toronto smoking crack?

(1) who gives a shit? Is that really something people are dying to see?

(2) why does anyone want to help Gawker make money? Even if you’re DYING to see the mayor smoking crack with your very own eyes someone will buy it so who cares if it’s Gawker? Except Gawker.

I don’t understand.

The whole thing is stupid. You’re paying money to help them make money (page views). If it was important to them, they’d spend their own money. Do people who donate get a cut of the proceeds? Do they get a DVD copy or something?

Photo

Sat, 18 May 2013 14:54:57 -0500

Nasty, but I can't look away

Thu, 16 May 2013 00:04:30 -0500

I have a friend from Honduras who I ran track with in college, but I haven’t really kept up with him all that much. He’s as Americanized as it gets, since he grew up partially in both Honduras and California.

Anyway, I logged into Facebook a moment ago and saw he had uploaded some pictures, so I checked ‘em out just to see what he’s up to. Apparently he went to the “Star Trek” premiere somewhere in California (cool!), he’s hanging out with friends and… OH MY GOODNESS IS THAT A PICTURE OF HIS FOOT LITERALLY PARTIALLY TORN OFF WHERE I CAN SEE HIS SKELETAL STUCTURE?!?!

Why yes, yes it is that!

Apparently he went back home to Honduras (I think?) and was bit by a venomous snake of some kind. The venom tore off the skin and a lot of the flesh around it, and you can literally see the bones of his feet just like the skeleton in your high school biology class. Like, his foot is fucking half tore open.

It’s the most disgusting thing I’ve ever seen, but I can’t stop looking at it because it’s so fucking fascinating.

thefriinge replied to your post: I’ve been out of the game for too long… SEE!...

Wed, 15 May 2013 22:51:00 -0500

thefriinge replied to your post: I’ve been out of the game for too long…

SEE! Hitting on people while working out is not creepy hahaha

No, it’s creepy in the gym — that’s just… not the place to do it, I guess? She just started talking with me and somewhat subtly trying to figure out my age and other things about me. There was no one else around, we were both just standing there getting ready to run our intervals, etc.

nbcnews: Biden loves 7-year-old’s ‘chocolate bullets’...

Tue, 14 May 2013 17:01:28 -0500

nbcnews:

Biden loves 7-year-old’s ‘chocolate bullets’ idea

(Photo: Garance Nelson)

When second-grader Myles Nelson came up with his unique way to make the world safer by using chocolate bullets instead of real ones, he decided he needed to share it with people in a position to do something about it.

Read the complete story.

So this is awesome.

I've been out of the game for too long...

Tue, 14 May 2013 10:31:05 -0500

I just got hit on by a girl from the Texas A&M track team while we were both running at the local track. I didn’t even realize it until I went back to my workout.

Dammit.

deadlinecom: Fox, like NBC, rolled out trailers for a bunch of...

Mon, 13 May 2013 23:00:13 -0500

deadlinecom:

Fox, like NBC, rolled out trailers for a bunch of their new shows today as they made their pitches to advertisers as part of the upfronts.

I have to say the trailer for “Almost Human,” the new sci-fi show from J.J. Abrams, looks pretty terrific, and has remarkable production values for its visual effects. Check it out here: http://www.deadline.com/2013/05/fox-trailers-new-series-2013/

What do you think of “Almost Human?” How about the other trailers we have on tap there? Anything catching your eye? I was intrigued by “Sleepy Hollow,” liked SOME things about “Us & Them” and thought “Rake” might be pretty decent over time.

The others, hmm, not so much, even with excellent casts. Not sure what happened, but maybe they’ll survive long enough to be okay.

I’m very excited for this show. The trailer doesn’t wow me in terms of plot, but it looks good.

HOW I FEEL AT SMALL TOWN COUNCIL MEETINGS

Mon, 13 May 2013 22:40:06 -0500

dontfeedthejournalists:

breathing-symphonies:

dontfeedthejournalists:

The most accurate, relatable post on all of tumblr. I’ve got an hour to mentally prepare for a Council meeting with an agenda that’ll likely last until midnight. God help me.

Girl, I feel you. I literally just got back from one that started three hours ago.

Just got back from a school board meeting that started three hours ago as well… now I get to write a budget proposal recap. Ugh, life.

buzzfeed: Eight years of yellow umbrellas have led to tonight’s...

Mon, 13 May 2013 14:55:47 -0500

buzzfeed:

Eight years of yellow umbrellas have led to tonight’s season finale of How I Met Your Mother.